We all have emotions that can be pleasant: like joy and love, or negative.:such as fear, anger, shame, guilt and jealousy. However, not everyone can recognize, name and treat them effectively. Emotions play an essential role in our lives and communicate our needs, rights and frustrations, what makes us sad and what makes us happy.
In this article, we will identify the emotions that are critical to making the necessary changes in who or what makes us happiest; We will also discover the elements of emotional intelligence and how they are essential to our lives.
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5 basic elements of emotional intelligence
RespectivelyDaniel Goleman, an American psychologist who helped popularize emotional intelligence, is therefive key elementsfor this:
1. Self-awareness (emotional)
In simplified terms, emotional self-perception can be divided into:
- Auto= about himself;
- Awareness= to know something or to be aware of it;
- Emotional= about our feelings and emotions, what happens to us in different situations.
Emotional self-awareness is a term that defines the search for a deeper knowledge of ourselves and the awareness of our emotions, with the intention of understanding what we are feeling and experiencing on a daily basis.
As the foundation and first step of a broader skill called emotional intelligence, emotional self-awareness involves being aware of various aspects of our "I", including our:
b) Our beliefs;
c) Ideas, behaviors, values and feelings.
Award:Those who have developed this ability know well what they are feeling and how these emotions positively or negatively affect their performance in the professional and personal sphere.
types of consciousness
- social conscience
This type arises when people are aware of how they see themselves with others.
Ex: Realizing how happy someone can be after learning about a new university.
- Self-confidence (emotional)
This happens when people become aware of some aspects of themselves.
Ex: Recognize the feeling of anger in a stressful moment.
Tips to develop your emotional self-confidence
- Find information on the topic.– YouTube channels, social media pages, books, courses, podcasts, etc.;
- Identify possible patterns in their behavior.- Begin to observe your state of mind throughout the day, the month, at work and at home, when you meet certain people, etc.;
- Answer the question "What was going through my mind at that moment?"in situations where you notice mood swings, answer honestly and sincerely (and the closer you are to the position, the more it will help your memory to find the right thoughts and feelings);
- Practice activities that teach you and help you focus on the present and on yourselfsuch as meditation, especially mindfulness practices;
- Write down the insights, findings, and responses you have about yourself.– Use what suits you best (mobile phone, post-it, calendar, etc.).
|healthy and safe emotions||Trusting bad emotions|
|Be proud of your achievements;||Respond to shame with anger and hostility;|
|Likes to participate in social situations;|
|Apologize for mistakes and take responsibility.|
The importance of self-awareness
Self-awareness means a deep understanding of one's own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, needs, and drives. People with a high level of self-esteem recognize how their feelings affect themselves, other people, and their job performance.
Self-regulation is the ability to monitor and control our behavior, emotions, or thoughts and modify them according to the demands of the situation.
„Emotional self-regulation is considered a component of emotional intelligence, which in turn affects the ability to identify, name, and respond to one's own and others' feelings.(Golemann, 2006).
Emotions are triggered by social settings, thoughts, memories, and even other emotional states. And the way we interpret emotions affects the way we think, make decisions, and act on a daily basis.
Award:By activating regulatory strategies we can modify the emotions evoked by external reasons that alter our habitual state of mind.
Tips to develop self-regulation
Have emotional regulation, accGratz and Romans (2004), necessary:
- awareness and understanding of emotions;
- acceptance of emotions;
- ability to control impulsive behavior;
- Ability to use emotional regulation strategies flexibly and appropriately to the situation.
And since emotions have multiple components to improve emotional self-regulation, we could:
- Focus on evaluating the situation, focus on the physical sensation, on the reason for the emotion (intentionality);
- In the feeling that just arises;
- What measures we intend to take (motor behavior).
With this exercise we learn to control our emotions, suppress impulses and develop appropriate responses to various situations that require stress, fear or decision making.
The importance of self-regulation
Self-regulation will help us better manage emotional distress when it occurs. When we come into contact with a stimulus that evokes a strong natural emotional response, the brain activates the amygdala (which regulates the fight or flight response). This happens very quickly because we often act without "thinking".
The regulation of emotions allows us to increase the latency of reaction. This means that when a stimulus evokes an emotion, we can wait a "time" (milliseconds or seconds) before letting the emotion drive that automatic response.
In its Latin origin (Mover), motivation to move means to move in a certain direction and it means to persevere until reaching a certain goal. So the motivation here would be if we know how to use emotions in favor of our goals;
People are made up of individual values, beliefs, desires, motivations, and needs. Everyone has a story and a perception of the world. In addition, people are moved by emotions, skills, knowledge and talents that complement organizations and affect their behavior as a result of their actions.
Studies of emotions lead us to the concept ofemotional intelligencesuggested by Ph.DDaniel Goleman(1995):
"In shaping our decisions and actions, emotion weighs as much, and sometimes much more, than reason" (p. 19). the author adds: "Emotion refers to a feeling and its distinctive thoughts, psychological and biological states, and a range of action tendencies"(S. 302).
Being motivated refers to an internal drive to achieve your goals, which includes:
- biological factors;
- social factors;
- emotional factors.
That is, motivation is influenced by our body, who we interact with, our thoughts, and how we feel.
Award:When we develop self-motivation, we discover that we don't always need external exaggerations to be satisfied with what we do.
Tips for developing (self) motivation
Find your meaning in life
Ikigaiis a Japanese term that describes why someone gets up every day. That is, our motivation to live, or in the words ofFrancisco Miralles, co-author of the work “Ikigai: The secrets of the Japanese, a long and happy life.”
When we find something that gives meaning to our lives, we know what motivates us. to discover oursikigai, we must answer four seemingly simple questions, which nevertheless require a certain level of self-awareness and may require some time to think, namely:
- That you love?
- What are you good at
- What will/can you get paid for?
- what does the world need
Watch the video at this link and see how Tim Tamashiro discovered his ikigai. He also leaves you some tips for you to discover yours.
Learn to spot small gains
Our life consists of small joys and successes. We need to notice and appreciate them, stopping to celebrate them. This is how we develop a cycle of gratitude and reward for our efforts, which keeps us in the right frame of mind to face life's challenges.
Knowing how to rest and the importance of moments of rest can increase our motivation since it avoids unnecessary and excessive exhaustion. Knowing how to take breaks is crucial to maintain a high level of energy and enthusiasm in our activities.
psychologistAbraham Maslowdeveloped the model of the “Pyramid of Needs” in his “Theory of Human Motivation”. For Maslow, we feel motivated to satisfy our own internal needs, which he organizes in the pyramid below to move on to the next one based on the others.
For exampleYou may not be motivated to seek appreciation or recognition if your physiological needs, such as hunger and sleep, are not met.
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Motivation is a fundamental element for our growth; without it we have no reason or strength to learn, play sports, work, etc. Therefore, we must always look for it in all areas of our lives if we want to develop as human beings.
Empathy is the emotional ability to perceive and understand how one sees another person's world. It is a way to go beyond your limits and expand the way you feel.
Let go of the need to judge the emotions of others and create a deep and genuine connection.
4. Social Skills
Social skills are a set of behaviors that foster healthy and productive relationships with other people.This category of emotional intelligence involves the application of empathy and negotiation of the needs of others.
This can include finding common ground with other people, guiding others in a work environment, and being persuasive; This is where we need to know how to relate to other people and take into account all the emotions that come with it.
Tips to develop social skills.
- Acknowledge your emotions and deal with them.
Any time we argue with another person, things can get heated. When someone is emotionally upset, think about that problem first. Take your time to breathe and only then return to the problem. In a work setting, that might mean talking to a friend before responding to your boss.
- Respond to real issues once it's resolved
Once you have calmed down, identify what the conflict is. Before arriving at solutions, we must make sure that we and the other person agree on the real problems. Propose mutually beneficial solutions.
- think harmoniously
Whether business or personal, relationships work best when everyone involved knows they're on the same page. While we can't find a win-win solution, please make sure the final intent you communicate is harmonious. Make it clear that our goal is to find a common goal, even when we have different points of view.
The importance of social skills.
Social skills are essential because they help people to adequately express their desires, feelings and attitudes at any time in their lives. Like it or not, everyone needs to communicate, make friends, have conversations or make decisions, especially when they are in a leadership position in the company.
Empathy is the ability to emotionally understand another person; it's about putting yourself in the other person's place and feeling what they might be feeling in a certain situation. It means having a will and allowing yourself to get in touch with a feeling that is not ours.
There are three types of empathy:
1. Cognitive empathy
Understand the point of view of others.
2. Emotional empathy
Share other people's feelings.
3. Empathy Compassion/Solidarity
Recognize the need for help from others and be available to help.
In this article we address for the sake of relevanceemotional empathy. Emotional empathy shows itself when we not only understand the mindset, but also feel (almost physically!) the emotions of other people, as if those feelings are contagious.
We are emotionally sensitive when we can recognize other people's emotions and put ourselves in their shoes.
Tips for Developing (Emotional) Empathy
Accept other people's feelings.
To show some that we care about their problem; sometimes we should say how we understand what is being transmitted with expressions like: “I understand you”, “I imagine how difficult it must be”.
Increase curiosity about strangers
Empathic people are curious about the unknown; any time and any place is good to make new connections, just out of curiosity. They are endowed with an insatiable curiosity for strangers.
Curiosity expands our empathy when we talk to people outside of our usual social circle and encounter lives and worldviews that are very different from our own.
Challenge yourself and be an empathetic human being
Embark on challenging experiences that take us out of our comfort zone. Learn a new skill, such as a musical instrument, a hobby, or a foreign language. Develop a new professional skill.
Doing things like this will build our resilience and humility. The latter is a crucial element of empathy.
The importance of empathy (emotional)
Empathy is an emotional sensitivity with the power to change the story of our lives and bring about profound social transformation. It is the art of seeing yourself in the other person's position and using that understanding to guide interactions and manage conflict or other social issues.
The emotions experienced are of different types and we deal with them effectively or ineffectively.
Emotional competence emerges as a learned skill based on emotional intelligence, which leads to excellent performance at work. It makes it possible to understand and describe how the individual manages and manages their relationships, such as teamwork, and their ability to lead and be led (LANER; JÚNIOR, 2008).
References and further reading
Gross, JJ (2007). Handbuch Regulation of emotions. Guilford Press. New York, London.
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What is emotional intelligence answers? ›
Emotional intelligence (otherwise known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.How do you develop your emotional intelligence explain using the 5 domains? ›
Goleman identifies the five domains of EQ as: 1) knowing your emotions; 2) managing your own emotions; 3) motivating yourself; 4) recognizing and understanding other people's emotions; and 5) managing relationships.What are the 5 characteristics of emotional intelligence PDF? ›
Goleman cites five elements, or dimensions, of “Emotional Competence”: self-awareness, motivation, self-regulation, empathy, and adeptness in relationships.What are the 5 levels of emotional awareness? ›
The levels of emotional awareness in ascending order are (1) awareness of physical sensations, (2) action tendencies, (3) single emotions, (4) blends of emotions (i.e., feeling multiple emotions at once), and (5) blends of blends of emotional experience.What is a good example of emotional intelligence? ›
In other words, highly emotionally intelligent people use emotions to help direct their attention and think critically to achieve their goals. For example, feeling angry helps people negotiate, and an emotionally intelligent person may listen to angry music before negotiating a salary raise.How do you show emotional intelligence at work? ›
- Responding positively to new initiatives. ...
- Communicating effectively. ...
- Being flexible. ...
- Socialising and networking. ...
- Providing emotional support. ...
- Listening actively. ...
- Taking on challenges. ...
- Dressing and acting intelligently.
Emotional intelligence refers to your ability to exert self-control, regulate your moods, empathize with others, and motivate yourself to persist in face of setbacks. Research suggests that IQ accounts for only 20% of our success in life.Why is emotional intelligence important explain? ›
But what is EI and why is it so important? Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and regulate one's emotions and understand the emotions the others. A high EQ helps you to build relationships, reduce team stress, defuse conflict and improve job satisfaction.What is emotional intelligence in a sentence? ›
Emotional intelligence includes self-awareness and esteem, social skills and motivation. You have touched our emotional intelligence as well as our rationality.Why is emotional intelligence important in the workplace? ›
Emotional intelligence in the workplace is one of the most critical leadership skills, as it helps workers understand and manage their own emotions when around their coworkers. The workplace can be a volatile environment, filled with stress, pressure, anxiety, and even drama from time to time.
What are the key elements of emotions? ›
Emotional experiences have three components: a subjective experience, a physiological response and a behavioral or expressive response. Feelings arise from an emotional experience.What are the 5 principles for using emotions successfully? ›
- Self-awareness. Individuals with high levels of emotional intelligence our comfortable with their own thoughts and emotions and understand how they impact on others. ...
- Self-regulation. ...
- Internal Motivation. ...
- Empathy. ...
- Social Skill.
This has been a brief introduction into the 5 components of Emotional Intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, social skills, empathy, and motivation.What are the 5 most important dimensions of emotional intelligence or quotient? ›
Goleman (1998) posits that the five dimensions of emotional intelligence are self–awareness, self–regulation, motivation, empathy, and relationship management subsumed in his four major EI scales .What is the most important emotional intelligence? ›
Many people believe that this self-awareness is the most important part of emotional intelligence. Self-Regulation – This is the ability to control emotions and impulses. People who self-regulate typically don't allow themselves to become too angry or jealous, and they don't make impulsive, careless decisions.How can you use emotional intelligence to increase team performance? ›
- How Emotional Intelligence Drives High-Functioning Teams. ...
- Teamwork takes Practice. ...
- Communication and Collaboration Ensure Everyone Performs. ...
- Emotional Regulation Contributes to Productivity. ...
- Empathy Builds Trust. ...
- Hard Conversations Build Team Strength.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage our emotions. Emotional intelligence is sometimes called EQ (or EI) for short. Just as a high IQ can predict top test scores, a high EQ can predict success in social and emotional situations.How do emotions influence behaviors? ›
More specifically stated, emotion regulates the allocation of processing resources and determines our behavior by tuning us to the world in certain biased ways, thus steering us toward things that “feel good” while avoiding things that “feel bad.” This indicates that emotion guides and motivates cognition that promotes ...What are the benefits of emotional intelligence in leadership? ›
Emotional intelligence is important in leadership because it improves self-awareness, increases accountability, fosters communication, and builds trusting relationships by helping leaders process their emotions in a more positive way that allows them to address challenges more effectively.How do you build yourself emotionally? ›
- Realize where you are. ...
- Take a break. ...
- Calm yourself. ...
- Hang out with people who love you. ...
- Get a complete physical. ...
- Try something different. ...
- Write down your worries. ...
- Write down what is working for you in your life.
Can emotional intelligence be learned? ›
Emotional intelligence is a set of skills and behaviors. While some people will be naturally more adept at certain aspects, EI can be learned, developed, and enhanced.What are the 5 key modules of the bar on emotional intelligence model? ›
Similarly, the Bar-On model offers five main components of EI: intrapersonal skills, interpersonal skills, adaptability, stress management, and mood. Developers of the trait EI model (Petrides & Furnham, 2003) explain EI as a constellation of self-perceived, emotion-related personality traits.What emotional intelligence skills are important to success at work? ›
Greater motivation among staff to understand their own emotions and those of their colleagues. Healthy communication that produces common goals across the business. The workforce having a positive outlook when it comes to the job at hand. Positive relationships and deeper connections between employees.How does emotional intelligence affect communication? ›
Emotional Intelligence improves your assertiveness by allowing you communicate effectively. By being aware of your emotions, and by having self-control, you can communicate your thoughts clearly and with confidence. In turn, this will make you more assertive and confident, without coming across as pushy or aggressive.What are the 7 signs of emotional intelligence? ›
- Getting Along Well/Interest In Others. ...
- Self-Awareness of Strengths and Weaknesses. ...
- Operating With Integrity. ...
- Self-Awareness of Feelings. ...
- Present-Focused. ...
- Self-Motivated. ...
- Well-Placed Boundaries.
The four domains of Emotional Intelligence — self awareness, self management, social awareness, and relationship management — each can help a leader face any crisis with lower levels of stress, less emotional reactivity and fewer unintended consequences.What are the 7 signs of low emotional intelligence? ›
- You Often Feel Others Aren't Getting Your Point. ...
- You Blame Others for Your Problems. ...
- You're Bad at Reading People. ...
- You're Often Disappointed That People Don't Understand You. ...
- You're Frequently Surprised by What You Learn About Others. ...
- You Lack Empathy.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. There are five key elements to EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.What are the 12 elements of emotional intelligence? ›
Each domain contains twelve competencies: emotional self-awareness, emotional self-control, adaptability, achievement orientation, positive outlook, empathy, organisational awareness, influence, coaching and mentoring, conflict management, teamwork, and inspirational leadership.What are the 8 types of emotional intelligence? ›
- They recognize how others are (really) feeling. ...
- They express emotions effectively. ...
- They match their mood to the task. ...
- They can empathize. ...
- They can predict how someone is likely to react. ...
- They understand the cause of emotions. ...
- They think before they react.
What is the most basic element of emotional intelligence? ›
This is considered the foundation for all the other components of emotional intelligence. Self-awareness means being aware of what you are feeling; being conscious of the emotions within yourself.
Emotional intelligence in leadership is comprised of empathy, social skills, self-awareness, self-regulation and motivation.Why emotional intelligence is important? ›
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and regulate one's emotions and understand the emotions the others. A high EQ helps you to build relationships, reduce team stress, defuse conflict and improve job satisfaction.How to be emotionally strong? ›
- Have Confidence. ...
- Surround themselves with positive influences. ...
- Forgive others. ...
- Do their own thing. ...
- Believe in themselves. ...
- Show genuine kindness. ...
- Willingly love. ...
- See each day as a blessing.